Beyond Addiction
I’m pumped. Today I head north to Owen Sound, Ontario to attend a 9 day immersive somatic yoga program called Beyond Addiction, co-created with Dr. Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur. This will be my third time going.
You might wonder why I keep returning.
My biggest addiction is not cocaine or alcohol. I worked through those years ago. My biggest challenge has been the constant, nagging belief that I am not good enough, that I am only a utility friend and nothing more, that I am a loser, that I am unworthy of love. Because of that, I have spent much of my life searching for love, validation, and attention anywhere I could find it.
Truthfully, I think I have carried this belief since the day I arrived in this world. Yes, the very first day.
I had to work through other layers before I could get to this one. Child sexual violence. The death of siblings. A botched surgery. Grief and shock I did not have language for at the time. Only now am I able to dig down further, closer to the foundation of it all, and face what sits underneath: the constant seeking of love and attention that has driven so many of my choices.
I’ll be blowing out 62 candles on my next birthday, so I have been both running from and running toward this healing for a long time.
Beyond Addiction: The Yogic Path to Recovery is a program designed for people who want to build healthier habits and overcome addictive behaviours. It is also for health professionals working in addiction recovery and yoga teachers who want to bring yoga based recovery practices into their work.
My days begin at 4:15am for Sadhana. By 7am I’m walking through forest trails and then comes my favourite part, a two minute plunge into the freezing waters of Georgian Bay.
I cannot wait.
By 5pm, I’m usually ready for bed, but somehow I also feel more alive.
If any of this speaks to you, or if you recognize yourself somewhere in these words, check out the program. You might end up thanking me.
Click here for one of Gabor’s talks about addiction and what is possible.